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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24504940">Thunderstorms and candlelight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl'>ArthurFlecksGirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Joker (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:21:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24504940</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Its your birthday and Arthur wants to take you to a beautiful restaurant. Sadly a storm is closing in and you have to stay home.<br/>Time for a romantic candle light dinner in his spartment and a big surprise :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arthur Fleck/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Thunderstorms and candlelight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ARTHUR<br/>The pages of my journal feel so familiar to the touch. Though its not the same diary anymore. What once was filled with blacked out faces and scribbles is mostly  for poetry and song lyrics now. So many things have changed since I met her. I have. My mind is shifting and shaping everytime she holds my hand. Transforming into something new. Something beautiful. She takes my darkness and makes art out of it. When my mind is playing tricks on me, she is there to sort it out and makes sense of it. <br/>Y/N is  in the bathroom getting ready as I take the loose pages out of my diary and put them into my pocket. The plan is to read it to her while we are sitting on the table at that beautiful restaurant we picked. We didnt had the money to go  there on our first date, so our first one was really just a donut shop but we always wanted to go to this place called "Moments" and today was the day. <br/> I am kinda nervous to give her the letter I wrote to her but I cant wait for hear to read it. Its her birthday and I know that she loves handwritten love notes.  So I tried my best to write down how I feel about her. As impossible as it seems, since I always feel like I am not very good with words, I think she will understand what I want to tell her. She always does. I never felt more understood in my whole life. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. There are parts of me I was never able to fully understand but she takes those parts in her hands, breathes them in and makes them a part of herself, so we get closer. One mind, one heart.<br/>Y/N is my soulmate and I want her to know.<br/>I walk up to the mirror and take a closer look at myself.<br/>All dressed up and ready to go out with the love of my life. The black suit with the dark red shirt makes me look quite different. Elegant. But I kinda like it. My hair is slick back but there is this damn curl that never wants to stay in place and keeps falling upon my forehead.<br/>"Artie? are you ready?" she asks, still in the bathroom.<br/>"Yeah....I am sweetheart"<br/>It`s crazy how nervous I am about going out with the love of my lfe. I am still nt used to have such a beautiful girl on my side. I always dreamed about having someone on my side. But Y/N is more than I could have ever dreamed of. No daydream, no hallucination could ever be more beautiful than the love she is giving me.<br/>I grab her present  which I was hiding in the wardrobe for some weeks now and put it in my other pocket.<br/>I feel ready for a wonderful birthday dinner.</p><p> </p><p>YOU<br/>You look into the mirror and take a deep breath, wearing the new dress Arthur picked out for you, feeling incredible in it. Today will be the first birthday you are going to spent with Arthur and everything about this feels more than special. You`re going to spent it in a restaurant called Moments you wanted to go to for a longer time now. <br/>You`re  stepping out of the bathroom and see Arthur standing there, putting something in his pocket.<br/>"What is it? My birthday present?" you tease him.<br/>Arthur smirks "Could be..."<br/>His lips meeting yours. Soft and sweet. Tasting like candy.<br/>"You taste like sweets. Do you hide something from me?"<br/>"Nahh.."<br/>"Artie" you kiss him on the lips again "I dont belive you. I can taste the sugar! "<br/>"Welll...maybe...just maybe I made you something." his smile lighted up your whole world and wrapped you into a warmth sensation of being loved.<br/>"Show me"<br/>"I will give it to you when we`re home again. " his hands keep playing with the pockets of his suit. "Its in the kitchen. So dont go there. Otherwise its not a surprise anymore...and well there are other reasons you shouldnt go there..." he says "I made a big mess".<br/>You couldnt help but smile at the embarrassed look on his face. "I bet you did but I`m also sure it was worth it".<br/>Arthurs eyes are fixed on you "You`re so beautiful in that dress Y/N. I cannot take my eyes off you. How do I deserve all of this?"<br/>You take a step closer towards him and touch the fabric of his black suit "Because I love you so much" you whisper.<br/> Arthur looks stunning in his back suit. The beauty of his face  so breathtaking and unique. <br/>"I love this stubborn curl" you kiss his hair softly. <br/>"Its annoying" Arthur laughs.<br/>"No its not. I love to wrap it around my finger"<br/>"I know you do" Artie lifts you up "My birthday queen.. Its YOUR DAY and we`re gonna enjoy it. "<br/>You love it when he does that. Lifting you up from the ground. He does it so gracefully, you always feel like floathing above the ground.  <br/>Arthur kisses you on the forehead as he puts you back on your feet again.<br/>"C´mon Y/N, lets go."<br/>You both get your bags and keys and just as you are about to close the windows you notice how dark the sky has gotten within the last minutes. You can hear a storm coming in. "Oh no. It looks like the sky is coming down any minute". Arthur stands beside you as you both watch outside the window, his arms around your waist.<br/>You stare at the sky as it starts to rain. It pours down on the streets of Gotham city, like it wants to wash all the citys sins away. But to do that it has to rain forever.<br/>"Everytime the rain comes down at Gotham, I feel like the world wants to wash this city clean" you say. "There is so much going on out there. Gotham never rests".<br/>"Its impossible to wash this city clean " Arthur caresses your back with his hand "Sounds like a terrible thunderstorm is closing in...."<br/>"Its no surprise really... it always rains on my birthday".<br/>For a moment you and him are just standing there, watching nature showing how powerful this force really is. There is so much beauty in the darkness of a thunderstorm. <br/>"Its beautiful, Arthur , isnt it?"<br/>"It truly is....it shows that even nature has to scream sometimes".<br/>You both sit down on the couch "I guess I can`t go out in that dress now"<br/>Arthur closes the other window,too. "I guess we have to wait it out and see if the storm is getting better." His eyes focused on the blackness of the sky. The dark clouds remind him of the blacked out pages of his diary. <br/>"It looks like the sky tries to black out something" he says<br/>You throw your keys on the couch "What do you mean?"<br/>"The clouds look like they`re hinding something. Like the sky drew a picture or wrote some lines and decited it wasnt what it should have been. So it gets all backed out. "<br/>You watched him playing with his fingers as he tried to explain his thoughts to you. You were always fascinated by his mind. <br/>"I love this, Arthur. Thats a beautiful thing to think of. "<br/>"Yeah" he said "Like...the sky is the canvas and someone draws or writes on it. On a beautiful summers day its a blank, blue page. And anything is possible. I mean. Anything is possible on a blank page, right? All the possibilities..."<br/>He touched the back of his head to check if his hair was still looking right "I always felt like I was the opposite of that. I was a page filled with scribbles that didnt made any sense. So I blacked them all out. Blacked myself out. Or other people did."<br/>"C`mon Arthur, sit down with me. "<br/>Arthur sits down beside you as the storm is raging over your roof.<br/>"Its getting real bad out there" he says "I am so sorry about that."<br/>"Don`t be. There is nothing we could do about that"<br/>Arthur leans back on the couch "But I know how much you wanted to go there today."<br/>"Yeah I was kinda excited about it but...the most important thing for my birthday is to have you by my side. And you are right here with me".<br/>Arthur lights himself a cigarette and gets up to head to the kitchen, coming back with a plate filled with cupcakes "I guess you can have them a lil earlier now " he chuckles. I did them for you, sweety. I really hope you like them".<br/>He hands you the plate and your smile grows as you notice that every one of those cupcakes has a clown face on it, with big,green candy hair. "Awwww my god, Artie. This is the cutest thing ever. I cant belive you did them for me". <br/>Arthur blows out the smoke "I have to confess that I ate one. But only for checking out if they taste good enough, I promise!" He picks one of the clown faces and feeds it to you. It tastes like vanilla and chocolate "Mmmmhh its soooo good , Arthur. I didnt knew you`re good at baking".<br/>"Me neighter" he laughs "It was my first time trying to bake ever. But I really wanted to do it for your birthday. Look!" he picks another one "Its a little Carnival".<br/>You eat another one "It is. Arthur, I love it. Thank you so much. " <br/>Arthur blows out the smoke "Anything for my love". His smile makes you feel like home. Everything about him does.<br/>Eating the small clown cupcakes me made for you feels special. He always puts so much thought into anything.<br/>Arthur gets up and watches out of the window "The storm has gotten really bad, sweety. I am afraid we have to stay home. I want you to be save."<br/>You sign "I know....its okay. We can go there some other time, right?"<br/>You can tell from Arthurs face that he is thinking of something to save the day.<br/>"You know what Y/N? We`re gonna have our candle light dinner. A lil different from how we planned it but....."<br/>Arthur gets the table and chairs and moved the furniture to make a nice place right beside the window "We will enjoy our candle light dinner right here. At home. Save and sound. How does that sound?"<br/>"This sounds wonderful. But I dont think we have any food  for a candle light dinner"<br/>"Actually...I`ve made some cannelloni, because I noticed how dark the sky was getting while you were asleep in the morning. I considered that there was a storm coming closer. So I made a little something, just in case....I also made salad and...we have fried ice cream for dessert. I know its not much but..."<br/>You`re touched by his words, by this man. Touched by how important it is to him, to make you happy on your special day. <br/>"Darling. I am speechles... you always know how to save my day."<br/>His smile says more than a thousand words. All he wants is to was make you happy. "I`ll prepare the food and get some candles. We`re gonna make ourselfs a cosy, little candle light dinner. Wanna pick the music till I am finished?"<br/>"Sure Artie".<br/>Arthur gets in the kitchen while you go through the vinyl records. Arthur has a great taste in music. You decide to put on some Sinatra and start with the song "Fly me to the moon". It was YOUR song. The song that played when you first kissed. The sweet melodies and lyrics will always remind you of how he tasted and how insecure he was.<br/>"Fill my heart with song...." you hummed, your heart exploding with love from all these romantic memories.<br/>"Great choice" Arthurs voice coming from the kitchen, humming to the melody.<br/>You lay down on the couch, just thinking about how much you loved this man. When you first fell in love with him people warned you about him. Claming he was weird and unapproachable. But from what you have experienced he was nothing like this. His mind fascinated you. What other people may found unapproachable was his shyness around other people. He was always making up scenarios in his head where he was confident and told you about it. Writing it down in his journal and handed it to you to read it. He always wants you to know what is going on in his head. <br/>As soon as he comes out of the kitchen  he lights the candles and dimmes the lights. "Have a seat, beautiful" he  says, placing the food on the table.<br/>"This looks delicious, Arthur. I am actually speechless."<br/>The food tastes just as good as it  looks and Arthu cannot take his eyes off you for the whole evening. He doesnt eat much but he manages to eat more than he would have when you first met. And he enoys the salad. <br/>His skin looks even more beautiful in the candlelight. A golden shimmer  in his brown hair. His stubborn curl falling into his face. His green eyes mysterious focusing on you, like a universe of its own. There was so much to them. Those eyes. You could never get enough of them. Arthurs eyes told so much. A silent language that not everyone can understand. But you do. You understand every blink, every multicolored star shining in his iris. It was shining for you. Becase you finally gave him the love he graved all his life. The life he had to live before he met you.<br/>"Look at the sky" he says as he ate the salad "Isnt it beautiful? As much as I love sunny skies. I always thought there is something so vulnerable about the sky during a thunderstorm. There is so much power shown and still...the sky covers itself in darkness to seem this powerful. Like the sky gets more confident as darker as it gets..." <br/>You can see the lightning stikes outside as he continues "....there were times in my life when I felt the same. Darkness was my only friend. It started out to be my enemy but give darkness enough time to mess with you and you become a part of it. Until it feels like comfort. Until its all there is left." Arthur looks at you "But that was then....it feels like it was another life. Now is now and its wonderful because I got you on my side, my love."<br/>You lean over to kiss him on the lips.<br/>He smiles "Y/N? I`ve got something for you" he pulls  a page of paper out of his pocket.<br/>He smiled at the page "I wanted to read it to you but I am actually kinda nervous about so, maybe you could it it yourself?"<br/>He hands you the page. Its his handwriting.<br/>"Artie....is this...?"<br/>You can see his cheecks turning red "It is...I try to put it into words but....it seems impossible. So I am...I am sorry if its not good or anything"<br/>Your hands shake a little bit as you start to read<br/>"My dear Y/N,<br/>the love of my life, my saviour, my light, my everything.<br/>For my whole life I felt like I didnt even existed. I felt the pain of existence. The suffering that came from the depths of my soul. And I thought this should be proof enough that I do exist. But it was not. This pain felt like a ghost that has forgotten about the fact that its not among the living anymore a long time ago. It was just a phantom of what should have been there. A remain. Nothing more. And thats how I spent my life. People ignored me most of the time. If they didnt they kept beating me down. I never received some kind of love or warmth. <br/>Until I met you.<br/>I always fantasized about being loved.<br/>But I never thought how wonderful it actually is.<br/>Being loved by you made me real.<br/>I truly know that I do exist now.<br/>I know my hand is real when you hold it.<br/>And I know yours is,too.<br/>I know that I am not just a ghost wandering around when I taste your sweet lips, your arms wrapped around me like a shelter thats keeping me save from all the memories of a life I cant even belive I lived before. <br/>You take my shadows and make art out of it. Give them a new shape. A new form. I am not scared of them anymore. Because I know you shine your light upon me. No matter how dark I get.<br/>You weren`t scared of my darkness. You didnt ran away when you saw those parts of me. You kissed every  dark corner of my mind with your love for me until black became grey. And now its shining like silver.<br/>With you I dont have to be ashamed about what is going on in my head. I know that I can tell you everything and there is no fear inside of me that you could love me any less because of it.<br/>Y/N I love you so much, with all my heart, with all my darknness and light. Every part of me loves you. The ones eveyone sees and the ones only you can see. Being loved by you is the best thing that every happened to me and this alone is worth living for.<br/>Love now and forever,<br/>Arthur"</p><p>You press the letter close to your heart, a single tear running doan your cheek "Arthur....I dont know what to say...this is so beautiful"<br/>Artie reaches down his pocket one more time. He looks so nervous, like he is about to break down any minute.<br/>"Artie, are you okay?"<br/>He takes a deep breath, his hands shaking, his legs bouncing worse than ever.<br/>"Y/N....." he stutters your name, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he pulls out a ring <br/>"WILL YOU MARRY ME?"<br/>His shaking hand holds a beautiful ring.<br/>Did he really asked you to marry him?<br/>Is this really happening?<br/>You can feel your heart racing in your chest.<br/>"Oh Arthur. You know I do. Of course YES! YES! "<br/>Arthur gets up from his chair and hugs you so tight it hurts your ribs, tears running down his well defined cheekbones and chin.<br/>"There is nothing I want more than spending the rest of my life with you" he whispers in your ear.<br/>"Dito!" you reply, touching the back of his head. the sensation of his soft hair underneath your fingers makes you feel at home.<br/>"You are my home, Artie. I will love you forever"<br/>Arthur takes your face between his hands and kisses you gently.<br/>His tongue parting your lips with so much love within him it almost hurt.<br/>You taste him. His fears, his thoughts, his love for you, as your tongues start to dance to the song playing quietly in the background. <br/>There is nothing in this world you want more than him. All of him.  Every part that has been hidden from other people all his life. The parts of him that he disguised. You wanted to make love to the darkest parts of his soul. Floath them with your admiration for him, so they wouldnt be a burden to him anymore.<br/>The way he holds your face between his gentle hands while he kisses you makes you weak. Kissing him always feels like connecting with him on a higher level. It wasnt just lips on lips. It was mind on mind. Like he placed his thoughts insde of you and you placed yours inside of him. You tasted his thoughts. His true self. Kissing him was nothing like any kiss you experienced every before. Arthur was all in. It wasnt only his lips kissing you, it was his whole body.  You feel the touch of his lips through and through. You feel his lips trembling as your lips parted again "I never want to taste anything else ever again" he says "I want you. I want you now Y/N".<br/>"I want you,too, Arthur" you unbottom his dark red shirt and take off his jacket. With every opened button he places a soft kiss upon your forehead.<br/>His exposed chest makes him look so vulnerable. Fragile even as you start to place open mouth kisses  across his chest, while he tries to take off your dress. His hands are shaky from being nervous, so you help him with undressing you.<br/>"You`re so beautiful Y/N. I wanna touch you and love you forever"<br/>You press your cheek aganst his chest and breathe in the cologne he was wearing for your big date. The same he used when you first met him. You want to breathe him in and never breathe him out again, holding his breath inside of you to live on it. There was nothing like him. And he was all yours. <br/>Once he was topless you open the button of his black pants. Undressing him still felt like he was exposing his soul to you. He was never naked in front of any woman before he met you and it still was a big deal for him. Even though you saw him naked almost every day. You  pull his pants and undies down, while he does the same to you. Taking your time to enjoy looking at every expossed pat of his body, which you worshipped so much.<br/>As soon as you`re both fully naked he presses your body close to his, kissing you upon your open hair , whispering how much he loves you. His voice sounds like it´s about to crack, still overwhelmed by the fact that he just asked you to marry him. The golden lights of the candles making him look even more vulnerable.<br/>Arthur softly pushes you on the couch and gets on top of you. Your bodies barely touching as he supports himself with his elbows, placing kisses all over your chest. His hot breath like whispered love notes written on your skin. <br/>You let your fingers ran throug his sick back hair, making a big, curly mess out of it. Just the way you love it the most. His curls tickeling your chin and neck as he continues to kiss your chest makes you want him even more. You lean forward to kiss right into his soft curls , tasting his hair, wishing you could bury your face in it forever. <br/>You feel him breathing harder against your burning skin as his body sinks down on yours. The weight of his body on yours gives you so much comfort. Like a blanket that keeps you save from the rest of the world. His body protecting you from the cold. You want to feel him on top of you forever, warapping your legs around his back to keep him even closer. Enterwined in a full body embrace for the rest of your lifes.<br/>You touch his face with your hand, let your finger caress the part between his nose and his upper lip.  Re-drawing the outlines of his lips, his scar, as you can feel him smirking.<br/>Arthur rubs himself softly against your pelvis, whispering how much he enjoys being close to you.<br/>You think about what a great life it will be with him on your side. There will be good days and hard days but you will be there for him and he will never let go of your hand. You feel Arthurs love with every touch of his hand. With every kiss, every word he is trying to get right for you. <br/>"Come inside Arthur, I need to feel all of you" you whisper in his ear, feeling a strain of his curly hair on your lips. <br/>Arthur kisses you passionately you feel him slowly sinking  inside of you. His eyes focusing on yours. Eye contact is something very important to him. He wants to make sure you love it, wants to read you like a book that has been written for him and him only.  You are the blank page and he is the writer, making love to you, writing poems on your bare skin, using his breath.<br/>It feels like Arthur is gazing right into your soul. And you are convinced that all he finds there is himself, because your soul was his home now. HE LIVES THERE.<br/>"Can you feel how much I adore you?" he whispers between the kisses. <br/>"I can feel it, Arthur. I feel it with every move you make. Every breath. Don`t stop kissing me, please. I need o breathe you in".<br/>His kisses become slightly harder now as he starts moving inside of you. You wish you could hold him inside forever. Bodies entwined, just like your minds.<br/>Your right hand wanders down his back, pulling him even closer. Arthur becomes too breathless to even continue kissing you as you do so. His head dropping forward to rest in the space between your neck and shoulder. Trembeling fingers exploring the rest of your body.<br/>You start to shiver from the warmth that is floathing your insides. Like a fever, but comforting. You feel his sharp bones against your burning skin as he moves in and out of you, an undeniable smirk on his face. Your finger brushes his hair out of his face as he leans into your touch, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He just wants to FEEL.<br/>Even though his eyes are closed now you know that he SEES you with all that is within him. Hs eyebrow slightly twitching as he stops moving for a second "This right now...being so close to you.....is everything to me. I can`t get eough of you. I never will. Please love me Y/N. Please!" <br/>"I do" I do love Artur!" your hand explores his back, wandering back and forth the sharp lines of his shoulder bone, which is sticking out a lot. He is so fragile yet he turns you on so much. <br/>You adore every inch of his body. This body which contains his soul, keeping it locked inside flesh and bones. You want it all. Everything that makes him HIM. Every tiney wrinkle, every scar, every birth mark, every spot on the back of his hands. <br/>Artie caresses your cheek with his left hand as you started to sweat from the lust that is overcoming you.<br/>"Tell me that you love me Y/N. I need....I just need to hear it"<br/>"I love you Arthur. So much....it hurts"<br/>It does hurt but you have been never happier before.<br/>You feel him starting to move again. Just as graceful and beautiful as when he was dancing. He is dancing inside of you now. Your body is the instrument that plays music for him. <br/>"Can you hear the music?" he askes you with galaxies in his sparkling eyes.<br/>"I wish I could, Artie" you reply.<br/>"Some day you will " he whispers back, smiling.<br/>He is finally happy.<br/> You are his happy place. <br/>And that all you want to be. His home. A home for this once sad soul.<br/> A home to rest his head and heart forever.</p>
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